Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
