if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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