it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
