wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
