you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
You are a booty call, not a friend.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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