after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
