Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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