So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
you never un-have a 4some
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
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