I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
