I want to make a zoo with you.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
