So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
