I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
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