It's Friday. Sex?
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
