your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Randomize
