I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Randomize
