Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
