I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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