Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(618): View more from Illinois

he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.

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(865): View more from Tennessee

Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.

Fav 18 11604 1338
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(754): View more from Florida

you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.

Fav 16 4747 1468
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(819): View more from Quebec

She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad

Fav 15 3499 1568
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(914): View more from New York

Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"

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(757): View more from Virginia

So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.

Fav 15 4171 1125
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(702): View more from Nevada

Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year

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(860): View more from Connecticut

I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE

(203): View more from Connecticut

literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..

(203): View more from Connecticut

Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off

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