Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
