If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
