I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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