HIV tests are more positive than that guy
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
