2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
