If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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