I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
True strength comes from lack of pants
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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