I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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