Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
