I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
