I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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