If i come over, it means nothing
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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