You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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