i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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