They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
