the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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