I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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