brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
