You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
you never un-have a 4some
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
