I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
