end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
