I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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