Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
