This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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