was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
