chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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