ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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