does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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