In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
You need Xanax blowdarts
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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