cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
