I feel like abortions should bother me more
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
