fuck your aforementioned shoe
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Randomize
