Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
