Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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