I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
