btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
