Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
You've changed since you got that strap on
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
