i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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