**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
