I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize