And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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