I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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