You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
