I don't think brook has ever known best
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
