Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
