Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
