So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I did not marry a roomba.
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