He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
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