super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
