Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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