just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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