Whod you bang
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize
