Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
