he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize