the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
