If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Someone shattered a urinal.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
