Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
His hands were made for my vagina.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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