I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
